The Newlywed Game

 

Chances are, you’ve seen the Newlywed Game at some point in your life. It seems like every time I’m over my mother’s house I see it (she’s an avid GSN viewer). I’ve always thought that the show was pretty stupid, to be quite honest. Surely if you’ve decided to marry someone, you’ll at least know what their favorite dinner dish is, right?

Well, let’s fast forward to the present, and here I am three months shy of my second wedding anniversary. My husband and I are involved in a small group at our church with other married couples. During one of the first few group sessions, the facilitators created their own Newlywed Game. I wasn’t fazed. I’ve known my husband for about ten years, literally since I was in high school. I was ready to ace this game.

Many of the other couples did well, some of them not so great, and others bombed. When it was our turn to get in front of the class, I was ready. I had my game face on, and I knew that we would ace this thing. I mean, I’ve known him since I was a teenager! This was going to be a breeze.

We got off to a great start. Then it seemed, question after question, things I thought were common sense that he MUST know were answered incorrectly. Same for him. There were questions that he thought would be a cakewalk for me that I answered wrongly. Very wrongly.

I started giving my husband the side-eye. Not only were we bombing this game epically in front of a crowd of people, but I began to wonder who this man was that I married. Okay, not really, but it was eye-opening for me. I thought that he and I were SO in tune, and I didn’t even know what his favorite sport was. It was embarrassing and humbling.

I realized later on that we had become complacent in a key area in our marriage: INTIMACY. I thought that I knew all there was to know about my husband and had become smug. I didn’t need to waste anymore time “getting to know” him. I’d lost that zeal to get to know him better, to learn his likes and dislikes like I had during the courting faze. I realized that day the true importance of working on being intimate, i.e. paying attention to, courting, listening, and getting to know my spouse. I was reminded that the REAL work begins with marriage.

How do you keep the knowledge wheel turning in your marriage? What practices have you incorporated that foster intimacy with your spouse?

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