In the chaos of wedding planning, it’s easy to lose sight of why you’re planning this huge party–because you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with someone. Take some time to make sure you’re starting your life together off right. There are some topics that you absolutely must discuss before getting married, and you must be able to continue being comfortable discussing if you are going to stay happily married.
Finances are one of the biggest sources of stress for couples, so you need to know exactly where your fiancee stands financially. Discuss any debt, how you plan to pay back your debt, whether and how much you intend to save money and other long-term financial goals. You should also carefully examine whether either of you has any unhealthy financial habits that need to be broken.
Many women are shocked when they get married and find themselves doing all the cooking and cleaning for their husbands. You must talk to your future spouse about how you plan to divide up household duties and what you will do if the division seems unfair to one party. You should also discuss long-term work plans. Does one of you ultimately want to work part-time or become a stay at home parent? Work hard to prevent there from being any surprises in plans and goals a few years down the road.
You absolutely must talk to your spouse about whether or not they want children. Remember that their opinion on this issue is unlikely to change, so it’s vital that you’re comfortable with where she stands. If you plan to have children, discuss parenting philosophies and discipline strategies well in advance. For example, will one parent be the primary caretaker or will you share equally in the children’s care?
Talk openly about your long and short-term career and educational goals. Would one of you like to go back to school or to quit working until you finish school? What about career changes?How will you manage those and support one another if one of you changes jobs?
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