No matter your religious beliefs the Bible is filled with several golden nuggets that can help you improve your marriage. I've utilized several of these methods to help me understand and navigate both my union and my role as a father. Here I will share four biblical lessons that will help you improve your marriage.

Treat your marriage as if your life depended on its success.

For many of us, we recognize marriage to be a “contract” that we can exit, break, or renegotiate. Our decision to stay weighs heavily on our spouse's ability to keep us content. In contrast, Christians view marriage as a religious covenant established by God. The biblical consequences for violating said covenant were both very serious and sobering (Jeremiah 34:17-20). So outside of very extreme circumstances, divorce is not an option. If we each treated our marriages as if our lives depended on its success, we would find our actions more intentional. 

Check yourself before you wreck your marriage.

In marriage, It is never wise to dive head first into a confrontation; taking an inventory of your activities to self-access is a smarter resolution. I have learned first hand that making small positive adjustments to my behavior can often influence a desired outcome. Issues in our homes can often be the result of the culture we've established for ourselves. Since it takes two to build this culture, the adjustment in our individual behavior can have considerable impact. Instead of digging out splinters in my spouse’s eye, I must first address the plank lodged in my own. 

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your eye?
— Matthew 7:3



Leaving, Cleaving and Becoming One.

In an earlier point, I mentioned the importance of establishing a culture in the home. A part of that process is leaving the culture of your parents to develop something new. By no means is this intended to recommend completely losing yourself in the process, but rather leaving enough room for your spouse to navigate freely. 

Early in my marriage I found myself expecting my wife to cook, clean and think like my mother. Without realizing it, I was holding her hostage to those expectations, and not giving her or our marriage adequate room to flourish on its own. I had to come to the realization that she and my mother are two different people, and it is unfair for me to expect one to become the other. We've since been more cognizant of leaving our mothers and fathers while mutually creating a blueprint for our marriage.

For this eason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh
— Ephesians 5:31


Communication is important & submission is a two-way street. 

Living with your wife with understanding involves mutual submission. Preceding his instructing for wives to submit to their husbands the apostle Paul taught that we are to submit to one another in the fear of  God (Ephesians 5:21). Submission is consequently the duty of a Christian husbands as well as the Christian wives. 

A believing man must submit to the task of being sensitive to the needs, concerns, and emotions of his spouse if he is to produce a thriving marriage. It is also important to remember understanding comes from healthy communication. Distance may make the hearts grow fonder but poor communication, and Isolation can kill a marriage. As a wise pastor once said,

Adam if you do not speak to your Eve, or spend time with your Eve, believe that some snake will

Talk with your wives, spend time with your wives, never spot growing with your wives or it could be the fall of your marriage. 

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
— 1 Peter 3:7


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